Introduced by Florence

Bob and I met in nursing school at Butler County Community College. He was one of only three men in the class, and the only one to finish. I initially thought he was a little full of himself, and I suspect he thought the same of me. We immediately became competitors for top grades. Number 1 was always a woman named Kathy, and she was hard to beat. But in most cases, we were #2 or #3 in all our classes. We were also pretty well matched in our clinical rotations, with one exception. OB/gyne. At the time we were in nursing school, there were very few male nurses. (Although most obstetricians were male.) Our instructors were reluctant to allow Bob the same opportunities as the women students, and I can't imagine such a situation occurring today. Bob was generally relegated to two responsibilities in OB: bathing babies and recording the quality, quantity, consistency and odor of lochia. If you don't know what lochia is, google it. You will see why we teased him unmercifully during this rotation. But if you ever need a baby bathed, Bob is your man.

This leg of the trip was to visit Bob's family in Chicora, PA, which is about 12 miles from Butler. Bob's son Ken, his wife Jamie and our grandson Brandon live in Chicora along with numerous other members of the Bray family. Bob is one of seven children, and his family grew up on a large piece of land just outside of the town of Chicora. I mentioned in an earlier post that I first thought Bob had money because he told me about all the old cars he owned, but the Bray lifestyle was much different than my own. For one thing, the Bray household had no running water when I met them. Later, the house was upgraded to include plumbing and an indoor bathroom, but the first time I met Bob's mom, the family used an outhouse. I was invited to meet the Brays for a breakfast before the family went deer hunting. Bob had mentioned that I should use the outhouse before we went into the woods, but I have to confess that I never found it. There were numerous outdoor buildings and all I could find were sheds with canned goods and tools. Having been scarred (as were many kids of my generation) by Bambi, I was not a big fan of hunting, and had read that peeing on the bushes could serve as a way to discourage deer from an area, so I tried to pee on as many bushes as possible during the hunting trip. Luckily we had an unsuccessful hunt that day.

Bob's mom was one of the truly kindest people I have ever met. As she grew older she suffered from dementia, and although I am sure there were times she didn't know who any of us were, she was sweet, loving and often hilarious. She loved the movie Titanic, and I'm sure we watched it hundreds of times when she would come to Norfolk to spend some time with us. One afternoon, after watching Titanic for what was at least the fifth time that week at her request, she sighed when the credits ran and said, "Boy, I'm glad that's over." She loved it when the old lady threw the Heart of the Ocean into the sea, and I think she is probably the only person I have ever known who would have done that. Things really meant nothing to her. One of her superpowers was to be able to find the small tins of Vienna sausages in any grocery store, even when she couldn't find her way to the home bathroom without help.

Bob and I met the local Bray's at Cindy's Place, pictured above. Cindy is one of Bob's nieces and has always been a go-getter. Cindy's Place is a Chicora restaurant that has long served the area as a place for good food and good friends. As are so many such restaurants, Cindy's Place is currently struggling with the effects of the covid virus, but that worked well for our family reunion as she made the restaurant available to us. We were able to visit with numerous nephews, nieces, sisters and family friends as well as Ken, Jamie and Brandon. Of course, everyone wanted a ride in Penny, and her grumbling engine could be heard running all the Brays through Chicora long after dark.

I will not get political in this blog. But I will say this: most of Bob's family has very different political views than we do. And I have seen families torn apart in the past few years over politics like never before. I think we can all agree that politicians are not going to solve all of our problems for us. In any party. And families are the one thing we should be able to depend upon when things get rough. So I am proud that while we have very different beliefs, there was no animosity or unkindness in our visit. One of the best things about this American experiment is that we try to understand that we all have different views, and that is actually what makes America great.

Tomorrow begins the long ride home.